I've just passed my 2 year anniversary of living in the U.S., and it's becoming more and more evident that I need to write down some descriptions of British behaviour to try and explain some of the things we do.
“We did, we did.... we didn’t think it was a good idea!”
Probably the most puzzling thing for foreigners is the language of interaction. There are many particularities that have their roots in the structure of the English language. For example, it is the only European language that allows you to change the meaning of the entire sentence whilst still pronouncing it. Compare it with a language like German where, because the verb is placed at the end, the entire sentence has to be constructed semantically before it is uttered, or French where the "ne" has to come before the verb. The difference is profound. To continental Europeans, we have this bewildering way of apparently changing our mind, our position, even our values as the situation develops. What is even more distressing is that this takes place through subtle, often hidden cues that are totally unintelligible to foreigners.
Hinting: an art form
British culture is deeply impregnated with “hinting”. The outcome of diffident people having practised for centuries “getting the message across” to each other without ever directly “coming out with it”, is that we are very good at making and taking “hints”— which most other Europeans miss completely. Britons often prefer not to say exactly what they mean because they’re concerned with the effect their ideas might have on those they’re talking to. Instead of coming straight to the point (“I don’t think this will work” or “I want to conclude the meeting at 4 o’clock sharp”) British people prefer to hint at what they’re trying to say, hoping that the other person will understand without them having to be explicit.
The British art of “Politeness” is a classic form of this indirectness. We have conventions of politeness that try to make the other person comfortable by not imposing, by giving them a way out, by being friendly etc. Other cultures have more direct styles and value the directness of saying what you mean, (even quite brutally), assuming the other person will appreciate their “honest” approach. Instead we can find other more direct conversational styles aggressive, rude, or even obtuse. People from more forthright cultures may find the British coming across as unclear and indecisive, whereas “direct” people can seem to us to be pushy, rude or insensitive.
Moreover, whereas the words we use convey information, how we speak or deliver words (speed, volume and intonation etc.) can communicate more than a simple exchange of facts. For example in conversation with people they don’t know very well, the British tend to talk quite softly and modulate their tone of voice to what we assume to be a pleasant, non-threatening monotone, and Brits can definitely feel aggressed by loud speakers. In short, we can say that the British tend to speak fast, in a soft tone of voice, and prefer to hint to get their message across.
“Excellent, splendid, super, spiffing and all that”
In the “Avengers” TV cult series. John Steed, the main character, elegantly sailed his way through the entire blood-thirsty episode without formulating anything more than “amazing” or “you don’t say” and responding to life-threatening catastrophes with a heartfelt “oh dear”. This gives an important insight into British culture and the attitude of “British understatement”. By contrast, foreign villains are portrayed with a propensity to sweeping statements and wild generalisations. Brits avoid generalisations.
Tradition
In many ways, the British are slaves to tradition - we love it - anywhere, anyhow. But what catches most foreigners by surprise is that as individuals we are not traditional at all. Britons will embrace every new idea, technology and trend with reckless abandon. The traditionalism evident in double-decked buses, red telephone boxes, and garden gnomes is only skin-deep. British culture has been changing very rapidly since WWII and even more so in the last two decades.
No matter how “traditional” the British may appear, they are in fact fierce individualists. Behind the same exterior symbols; the same grey pin-striped suit, the same Volvo Estate car and the same semi-detached house, our very British sense of individuality can be found.
The difficulty is that, as with most things with the British, once past the first formal stages of a relationship, there are no rules. To most Continental Europeans with strong cultures where relationships are regulated in detail until one reaches intimate friendship, this is quite disconcerting and must be kept in mind. Whereas we have very formal and traditional rules of conduct and etiquette that apply to the first “impersonal” stages of a relationship, once a more informal atmosphere has been established, there are no strict rules of conduct.
“Terribly sorry, old chap”
Individualism may become downright stubbornness, because we do not feel pressured to conform to a general consensus, a Brit will have no trouble saying “No” to anything. Insularity and the Island mentality contribute to our willingness to fight point by point to the last.
The British sense of humour
General characteristics are:
• Puns: these do not too easily translate into other languages (if at all).
• Nonsense: has its origins in the writings of Lewis Carroll and Edward Lear.
• Black humour: main features of black humour can already be found in the drama of the Elizabethan era.
• Eccentricity
• Satire and sarcasm
• Self-deprecation, especially of the country as a whole
• The use of understatement and irony, so that many jokes pass unnoticed by those not familiar with it.
What stands out from this list is the importance of verbal humour as a key element. This is not to say that British humour has no place for visuals; but to take a classic example, Benny Hill, whose work was quite visual indeed, was extremely popular in his day, but has long since failed to arouse much interest with British audiences. In France, however, he is still apparently regarded as a comic genius. Compare this with typical "classics" of UK humour, such as the "Parrot Sketch" from Monty Python, which are usually notable for the fact that fans can repeat them verbatim.
